impostor syndrome: the hottest of takes
Jan. 25th, 2019 02:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
queenluaThe phrase "impostor syndrome" has made me bristle for a long time, and I think I'm finally able to articulate why:
Say a new hire says that they feel like they don't fit in, that their skills don't feel up to snuff, or that they can't possibly learn the all things they need to do their job.
By telling them "don't worry, it's just impostor syndrome," you are not really fixing those problems. You are telling them "just tough it out; it gets better."
There are times when this makes sense. There are gun-shy new grads who just need an extra nudge to get the courage to push out their first design document. There are people who get temporarily overwhelmed when they're staring down the barrel of a 900-page spec that's about as comprehensible as Egyptian hieroglyphs. So, sure, tell those people that they are qualified and they can do it; a little nudge is fine and reasonable.
But if you're sending this message all the time, if you're saying "oh it's just impostor syndrome" with any regularity, what you're telling the person is that there's only two possible reasons for their organizational discomfort:
1: they are, in fact, bad at their job
2: it's "all in their head" and they just need to be more confident
And both of these put the responsibility squarely on them.
Which means "impostor syndrome" can be used as a dumbass excuse for all kinds of things that are actually organizational problems.
If it takes a long-ass time for the average reasonably-sharp new hire to figure out what the fuck's even going on with your team's processes, maybe you need to fucking document that shit, or have less insane processes.
If someone says they're afraid they don't know anything about Fancy Technology X, maybe offer to just pay to send them to a training on Fancy Technology X, so they have a nice Official Base Set of Knowledge to work with, instead of just muddling along for a few months.
If someone constantly feels like they don't "belong", maybe your team culture is full of domineering asshats who are constantly jockeying to be the "smartest guy in the room," and you should get them to cut that shit out.
If you're a huge company, honestly, you can probably absorb a lot of the time wasted by such organizational problems. People can get used to anything, given enough time. But why would you want that? Wouldn't you rather strive for an organization where people feel empowered and capable, rather than just offering some feel-good messages and a bunch of confused, disoriented people "toughing it out"?
End rant.
Say a new hire says that they feel like they don't fit in, that their skills don't feel up to snuff, or that they can't possibly learn the all things they need to do their job.
By telling them "don't worry, it's just impostor syndrome," you are not really fixing those problems. You are telling them "just tough it out; it gets better."
There are times when this makes sense. There are gun-shy new grads who just need an extra nudge to get the courage to push out their first design document. There are people who get temporarily overwhelmed when they're staring down the barrel of a 900-page spec that's about as comprehensible as Egyptian hieroglyphs. So, sure, tell those people that they are qualified and they can do it; a little nudge is fine and reasonable.
But if you're sending this message all the time, if you're saying "oh it's just impostor syndrome" with any regularity, what you're telling the person is that there's only two possible reasons for their organizational discomfort:
1: they are, in fact, bad at their job
2: it's "all in their head" and they just need to be more confident
And both of these put the responsibility squarely on them.
Which means "impostor syndrome" can be used as a dumbass excuse for all kinds of things that are actually organizational problems.
If it takes a long-ass time for the average reasonably-sharp new hire to figure out what the fuck's even going on with your team's processes, maybe you need to fucking document that shit, or have less insane processes.
If someone says they're afraid they don't know anything about Fancy Technology X, maybe offer to just pay to send them to a training on Fancy Technology X, so they have a nice Official Base Set of Knowledge to work with, instead of just muddling along for a few months.
If someone constantly feels like they don't "belong", maybe your team culture is full of domineering asshats who are constantly jockeying to be the "smartest guy in the room," and you should get them to cut that shit out.
If you're a huge company, honestly, you can probably absorb a lot of the time wasted by such organizational problems. People can get used to anything, given enough time. But why would you want that? Wouldn't you rather strive for an organization where people feel empowered and capable, rather than just offering some feel-good messages and a bunch of confused, disoriented people "toughing it out"?
End rant.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 06:53 am (UTC)At my organization I'm the only woman on my team. I'm also the most junior developer in terms of experience. My coworkers are great about helping me when I ask, but in part because part of me believes I don't belong there, I will in fact spend hours beating my face against a brick Google wall trying to solve problems rather than ask for help. If I ask for help, I get it immediately and without fuss; no one is shitty to me about asking for help, and when I apologize (because I can't breathe without apologizing), I am immediately assured that it is not a problem, that they are happy to help. But I am still aware, profoundly, that I don't belong there because I am new to this; because I have to Google things; because I'm still learning. This is straight-up pointless and stupid and yet. Every time I get something right I am so pleased with myself for an entire minute; and then I realize everyone will know in the next five minutes that I am a fraud, and the cycle begins anew.
On a different site, someone posted the question "hey, what's the opposite of impostor syndrome?" and listed off a situation they'd found themselves in, where they were actually quite excellent at a thing, and found it very easy. The conversation went on for some twenty or thirty Twitter-length comments, until someone finally hit on the word "confidence," and then we all just sat there going :o
....anyway. Yeah. my impostor syndrome at work isn't culture-based; it's "I am the only woman" "that one coding class in college convinced me I was literally too stupid to learn how to code so I don't know how I weaseled my way in here but someone will take it away from me because I don't belong here" and also a lot of good old-fashioned anxiety and self-doubt.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 11:08 pm (UTC)like, the west coast is very into the term "impostor syndrome". fuckin everybody talks about their impostor-syndrome-y feelings, from super-senior people on down to random grunt engineers. you get job rejections that are softened with "but we still think you seemed like a really cool dude" (not making that up). people can be weirdly passive-aggressive or bizarrely deferential relative to other places i've lived. everyone wants to "include" everyone but with the minimum fuss possible.
like, for me personally—barring a few hiccups, i've never felt like i didn't "belong" as much as the next guy where i work (and, of course, they're all guys). which is nice, and fortunate! but it then makes me irritated when i go to a meetup group or a meeting or whatever, and i'm talking about how i'm not sure how to take charge on a particular project or whatever, and the response i get back is "oh that's just impostor syndrome!" and other vague assurances. my problem isn't that i'm not believing in myself enough, it's that i have a specific problem and i'm asking if there's resources available to handle it. if the answer is "i dunno" or "uhhh just try some stuff" or "just tough it out", then i'd rather it just be said that way, instead of wrapping it in this weird diagnostic language that doesn't really apply to my situation.
i'm glad the term impostor syndrome has helped people! if people are able to become more confident in their work, by identifying that as the root cause, then that's rad. but from where i'm standing, it feels like the usage creep has tilted waaaay in the other direction, i hear it like every other day, mentees use the word "impostor syndrome" to describe situations that are actually your team is just fucked up, and i wish at least people would say "it could be impostor syndrome OR it could be that this is just confusing/crazy/whatever for unreasonable reasons" and let people figure out on their own if it's an occasion for working on yourself vs trying to pin down what's making you queasy.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-06 03:30 am (UTC)I can see how it would get warped out of shape, though.