hamsterwoman: (Taskmaster -- John is a Ravenclaw)
[personal profile] hamsterwoman
Taskmaster is back!!

Taskmaster s21 interviews – I like the format a lot better this series than the last couple – it’s probably one of my favorite gimmicky ones (I had also liked s17’s, but mostly I feel like the format detracts rather than adds to the interview on the other recent ones; OK, s20’s table tennis was not too bad, but I thought the table tennis was too disruptive to the chat, in a way texting was not really). First impressions, before watching the episode )

Episode itself: Taskmaster s21e01 – oh, this was FUN! spoilers )

*

I caught up on the Christmas 2025 House of Games, which had what is probably my favorite lineup ever: Mathew Baynton, Mel Giedroyc, and Harriet Kemsley (and a fourth non-Britcom/non-Taskmaster person I didn’t know, but he was fun, too). spoilers )

*

I finished watching James Acaster’s Repertoire on Netflix – a 4-part stand-up show which I found really interestingly constructed but enjoyed less than the shows by the comedians it turns out I really vibe with, like John Robins or, based on a smaller sample size, (Lesser) Tom Cashman or Pierre Novellie. Also, it really is a single four-part show, even though the first three parts are fairly stand-alone, and I did not have 4 hours to watch it all the way through – nor do I really think that’s a reasonable, like, aliquot for standup. And I was still able to appreciate it watching it in several chunks over a matter of weeks, but not as well – by the time I got to the last part, which calls back to the previous ones a lot, and loops around to the first one, there were definitely details I had forgotten – I could tell from the audience laughing at things that were clearly callbacks but ones I did not recognize. But I did recognize some inter-episode callbacks, and even within each episode (Recognise, Represent, Reset, and Recap) there are callbacks and loop-arounds.

If I had to describe Repertoire in one word, it would be intricate )

(no subject)

Apr. 9th, 2026 10:07 pm
skygiants: the princes from Into the Woods, singing (agony)
[personal profile] skygiants
Made a extremely silly decision this past weekend, which was to break up our long drive to and from Philly by Exactly long enough to see one (one) show in NYC on the way down, and another on the way back. Literally put the car in a garage by the theater, went into the show, got the car out of the garage, and kept driving. And to make matters even sillier the show that we saw on the way down was Bad -- and we knew it was going to be! Or at least we had a reasonable suspicion! But were we not going to go out of our way to see Norm Lewis play Villefort in a Count of Monte Cristo musical? Of course we were. The path before us had simply been prepared.

Q: When you say it was bad, do you mean it was a bad musical as a musical, or a bad adaptation of Count of Monte Cristo?
A: Oh, both! Absolutely both.

Q: What made it a bad musical?
A: Well, the music. And the lyrics. They hit exactly every beat on the Musical Sheet while constantly feeling like less subtle knockoff versions of other songs you might know slightly better. The song you might know slightly better is not a subtle one, you say? Well, I guarantee you that songs such as "Dangerous Times," in which the full cast explain that they are living in dangerous times, and "How Did I Get So Far Away [From Me]," in which Mercedes sadly wonders how she has gotten so far away from herself, are less so. When the best you can say of a song is that it felt like pallid diet Frank Wildhorn -- as in, lacking the noted power and vibrancy of real Frank Wildhorn, composer of such deathless works as Death Note: The Musical -- then you know we're scraping the bottom of the barrel. And that's not even mentioning the frenetic stream of mediocre jokes.

Q: And what made it a bad adaptation?
A: I mean I know there are probably people in the past who have said that Edmond Dantès literally did nothing wrong but I want you to understand: in this show, Edmond Dantès literally does nothing wrong. His backstory takes up the entire first act, and by the time we hit intermission I was already like "huh, there's not going to be a lot of time in here for revenge schemes," but I didn't actually understand how dire the situation was going to be until this part of the Q&A gets into quite detailed plot spoilers )

Q: So do you regret your objectively silly decision to go out of your way to see this musical?
A: No I do not, not in the least, and I would have regretted missing it. There is something very nutritious in bad theater, I think. It forces you to consider what good theater might look like. Also, the surprise appearance of Lucrezia Borgia was one of the funniest things I experienced all weekend.

2 mgs enthusiasts:

Apr. 9th, 2026 09:20 pm
kradeelav: Dr. Kiriko (Default)
[personal profile] kradeelav
in my purge spree this past weekend i found a bunch of gamecube games i (a) ordered in the last two years (lol) and (b) never played (double lol). since i am so far behind my FE9 loveblog on tumbr it ain't even funny i figured i might throw one of these in as after-work distraction until my brain can write a long form blog post again (x13).

DA QUESTION: I have metal gear solid : twin snakes (gamecube edition)

tl;dr is it worth playing / experiencing twin snakes as the OG MGS1 game?

i know most people prefer the PS1 version to superior art direction, voices, etc, but alas while i could likely emulate it on the steam deck i don't wannaaaa < don't have the brainwidth to set up emulation properly right now).  things lowkey going for it: it's a little easier with MGS2 gameplay ( i loved mgs2, and i am so fucking rusty so i will appreciate that lol) plus i play all games on mute / actually prefer the GC controler over every other controller, so that doesn't count.

if i play this finally large chunks of MGS lore will make sense XD (finished 2 & 3 on the ps3 in college, and had a blast watching a lets play of 4 from start to finish which was genuinely okay because that one was an honest to god movie anyway.) 

(other games would be the resident evil on gamecube, OG metroid prime which i distinctly remember renting from blockbuster back in high school and never finished (lol). we goin RETRO baybe) 

Deadline Passed and PDPHs

Apr. 9th, 2026 10:09 pm
phoenixdown_mod: (pde logo)
[personal profile] phoenixdown_mod posting in [community profile] phoenixdown_ex
The deadline has now passed! We have 2 Post Deadline Pinch hits as listed below. Please comment on this screened post to claim, along with your ao3 username.

PDPHs will be due on the 16th of April at 9pm UTC.

PDPH#1 - Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy X-2 (art, fic)
Request 1 by FallacyFallacy
Final Fantasy X
1: Yuna (FFX), 1: Worldbuilding (FFX), 1: Valefor (FFX)
Media:Art, Media:Fic

GOD I just. I love this game and this world so goddamn much <3333 I love the really unique aesthetic it has, more Japanese and tropical and island-y while still retaining fundamentally Final Fantasy technomagic sensibilities, I love the aeons and the spirituality and Summoners' role as analogous to a shrine maiden (right down to old folk tales about shrine maidens being used as human sacrifices!), I love the criticism of anti-technology perspectives and how that rhetoric can be used to oppress and control, I love Yuna's soft sad strength - her fake-it-til-you-make-it smiling, but also her weird relief and eagerness to glean some enjoyment out of her last year or so alive...!!

Valefor is my favourite aeon, so I'd love art of her, or something about her and Yuna's interactions! Or Yuna and the Fayth in general - her relationships to them and her feelings on Yevon and ritual and sacrifice and martyrdom...! Anything character study-ish for her would make my day!

I also just... love the world of FFX, and would love to see more slice of life stuff about how its inhabitants live their lives and view the Summoners, the Farplane, the fiends, and so forth! Or Blitzball, of course! :D Something like an in-universe document would also be super welcomed!

DNW: formal D/s play, feeding/stuffing, scat, vomit in a sexual context, non-con between requested couple, gore, character/ship bashing, mundane/modern day AUs, extreme underage (pre-puberty).

Dear Author letter: https://22degreehalo.dreamwidth.org/24886.html

Request 2 by FallacyFallacy
Final Fantasy X-2
Baralai/Gippal (FFX-2), Gippal/Baralai/Yuna/Tidus (FFX-2), Baralai/Yuna/Tidus (FFX-2), Baralai/Yuna (FFX-2)
Media:Art Media:Fic

Gippal/Baralai was one of the earliest ships I ever really, seriously shipped (I swear I ready everything for them on ff.net at least twice over!), and every few years I check back in and confirm to myself that, yep, they really have stood the test of time! :D Yuna/Baralai was also highly enjoyed as an alternative, and in recent times I've gained a really renewed appreciation for Tidus/Yuna, as well! So... Yuna and her two boyfriends - who may or may not also have another boyfriend - would also be highly enjoyed. :D

With Gippal/Baralai, I love how despite all the many many forces conspiring to keep them apart, they get along with each other so easily and naturally! I'd be totally happy either with Crimson Squad stuff as they develop their friendship or relationship (pre-slash and slash both welcome!), as well as angstier stuff after their separation, and not to mention post the end of canon - as well as dealing with the politics of Baralai being Praetor and all...! I'd love to see more dives into Bevelle and the priesthood, there!

Baralai/Yuna is so sweet: they're both so formal and polite, but they do have to fight over the course of the game, and then there's the confusion over the arranged marriage, and not to mention everything to do with Shuyin... Once again: plenty of potential for awkwardness and pining and complicated feelings!

And then there's Tidus. :D I love how he and Yuna look on the surface to be so different, but Yuna immediately is immediately curious and excited about him and his free-spirited ways, and beneath the fuckboy-ish exterior he really is a loveable (if sometimes oblivious) himbo!! Plus, the way they can relate over having public attention and famous parents, despite having wildly different responses to both those things... I love that Yuna can provide some clarity and purpose for Tidus, while he can unleash her inner goofball :D

And when you combine everyone all up together...! Who knows what they could get up to?! I could definitely see it as, like, Gippal and Baralai were together during the CS days, and then Yuna and Baralai started to strike up a little romance, but then Tidus reappears, and now that the air's cleared the feelings are building up again between Gippal and Baralai...! For Gippal and Tidus, I can see them being quick friends - guys who are always happy to hang out and show off and have fun (and maybe fuck a li'l)! Tidus and Baralai could be more fraught, given Baralai's history with Shuyin, but that's also an interesting dynamic which could be explored!

Look: it's just a really, really great set of characters and dynamics, and whatever you give me I'm sure I'll love it! :D

DNW: formal D/s play, feeding/stuffing, scat, vomit in a sexual context, non-con between requested couple, gore, character/ship bashing, mundane/modern day AUs, extreme underage (pre-puberty).

Dear Author letter: https://22degreehalo.dreamwidth.org/24886.html


PDPH#2 - Final Fantasy XVI, Final Fantasy XII (art, fic)
Request 1 by Sadisticsparkle
Final Fantasy XVI
Clive Rosfield/Jill Warrick (FFXVI), Martha/Wade (FFXVI), Clive Rosfield/Cidolfus Telamon/Jill Warrick (FFXVI), Clive Rosfield/Jill Warrick/L'ubor (FFXVI), Clive Rosfield/Jill Warrick/Theodore (FFXVI)
Media:Art, Media:Fic

GENERAL LIKES
Adventure fic, casefic || Curtain fic, fluff, bringing a dilapidated place back to life || Humor, banter, clever flirting etc.
References and meta commentary; dramatic irony and foreshadowing of future canon tragic events; strong stylistic choices and narrative voices

Slow-burn romance, Rom-com tropes, arranged marriage || Mutual pining, From fuckbuddy to fuckfiance, friends-to-lovers
Bittersweet reunions & accepting, bittersweet partings || Identity porn, Truth serum, Undercover as a Couple
People failing at roleplay/people getting too much into roleplay, sex farce (funny, ridiculous sex)
D/s dynamics, Bad Idea Kink (ie., undernegotiated, likely to bump into traumas, etc.), Dom POV, sadist POV
Painplay, impact play, bondage (honor bondage included), knifeplay, breathplay, emotionally charged gangbangs || Sex pollen, fuck or die
Sloppy blowjobs, deepthroating, eager cunnilingus, rimming, and brutal facefuckings || Breast-focused porn: bondage, torture, groping, sucking, nipple slips & wardrobe malfunctions

Flat colors, cool colors, B&W with dramatic accent colors, B&W art, watercolor-esque coloring, not fully detailed shadows/highlights, desaturated and muted palettes, limited palettes
Visible linework, sketchy linework, dramatic abstract backgrounds
Stylized art, overtly symbolic elements, natural elements like flowers and so on || Tarot cards, pin-up poses

Masquerade balls, slow dancing, sharing an umbrella, sitting in a cafe, walking arm-in-arm, napping together || A grabbing B by the collar, kabedon, characters looking over their shoulder, A’s hand on B’s nape/throat, A on the floor while B’s on top of them/looming over them
Flimsy nightgowns, suits, veils, flowing hair, hats, historical clothing || Night landscapes, moonlight adventures, train stations, forests & meadows, porches & balconies, rainy streets

Request 2 by SadisticSparkle
Final Fantasy XII
Balthier/Basch fon Ronsenburg (FFXII), Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasca/Balthier (FFXII), Penelo/Vaan (FFXII) 1: Penelo (FFXII)
Media:Art Media:Fic

GENERAL LIKES
Adventure fic, casefic || Curtain fic, fluff, bringing a dilapidated place back to life || Humor, banter, clever flirting etc.
References and meta commentary; dramatic irony and foreshadowing of future canon tragic events; strong stylistic choices and narrative voices

Slow-burn romance, Rom-com tropes, arranged marriage || Mutual pining, From fuckbuddy to fuckfiance, friends-to-lovers
Bittersweet reunions & accepting, bittersweet partings || Identity porn, Truth serum, Undercover as a Couple
People failing at roleplay/people getting too much into roleplay, sex farce (funny, ridiculous sex)
D/s dynamics, Bad Idea Kink (ie., undernegotiated, likely to bump into traumas, etc.), Dom POV, sadist POV
Painplay, impact play, bondage (honor bondage included), knifeplay, breathplay, emotionally charged gangbangs || Sex pollen, fuck or die
Sloppy blowjobs, deepthroating, eager cunnilingus, rimming, and brutal facefuckings || Breast-focused porn: bondage, torture, groping, sucking, nipple slips & wardrobe malfunctions

Flat colors, cool colors, B&W with dramatic accent colors, B&W art, watercolor-esque coloring, not fully detailed shadows/highlights, desaturated and muted palettes, limited palettes
Visible linework, sketchy linework, dramatic abstract backgrounds
Stylized art, overtly symbolic elements, natural elements like flowers and so on || Tarot cards, pin-up poses

Masquerade balls, slow dancing, sharing an umbrella, sitting in a cafe, walking arm-in-arm, napping together || A grabbing B by the collar, kabedon, characters looking over their shoulder, A’s hand on B’s nape/throat, A on the floor while B’s on top of them/looming over them
Flimsy nightgowns, suits, veils, flowing hair, hats, historical clothing || Night landscapes, moonlight adventures, train stations, forests & meadows, porches & balconies, rainy streets

All my reads of February and March!

Apr. 9th, 2026 12:06 pm
mozaikmage: (Default)
[personal profile] mozaikmage

Only read six books each month due to uh. STILL struggling through the Brothers Karamazov lol

Flesh by David Szalay

Started in Jan, finished Feb 1st. Everyone hyping this up was fucking right. Killer last line.

Strange Houses by Uketsu

Worse than Strange Pictures, so probably a good decision to publish that one first in English. I didn’t like how it was all just people explaining things to each other instead of… things happening. But it was still a kind of interesting puzzle thing.

Good Luck, Babe! by Erin Baldwin

The Netgalley arc went kinda viral so I grabbed one. It was okay, but the relationship didn’t work for me: the reason for their rift felt too contrived and poorly resolved.

The Empress of Salt and Fortune by Nghi Vo

Read it for friend group book club lol. Also lived up to the hype! I liked reading it. Saved more detailed thoughts for book club.

Heart the Lover by Lily King

I read it half-wondering how it tied into Writers and Lovers and then I got to the reveal and was like Ohhhhhh. Really good, good follow-up/companion/sequel book and good on its own. King is so good at setting up multiple love interests that feel believable as characters the protagonist would be interested in.

Notes of a Crocodile by Qiu Miaojin

Short book that took me forever to read, for some reason. I think I found Lazi’s head difficult to inhabit. Interesting, but I wouldn’t say I enjoyed it? The crocodile sections were funny, but the dialogue felt kind of stiff (translation casualty?)

Problematic Summer Romance by Ali Hazelwood

I checked this out because I wanted to learn what the Ali Hazelwood fuss was about but refused to read reskinned Reylo and you know what maybe I should’ve taken my chances on the Reylo. The narrative voice was actually fine. I thought it’d be cringe/overly twee from what I’ve heard about her writing, but I thought it sounded very standard-issue het romance novel.

But oh my god. It’s an age gap romance where instead of the two central characters having character flaws they develop past over the course of the narrative, the two central characters are just perfect for each other and the only, THE ONLY point of conflict is that one of them is older. Not even that he has different values because he’s older. Age in this book is pretty much literally just a number. All their arguments are just “I’m too old 4 u” “no ur not” and it’s so repetitive and so POINTLESS because the age gap has NO CONSEQUENCES. He’s her older brother’s best friend and the older brother doesn’t even object to the relationship!

I did like the Sicily setting and there’s some fun set pieces and comic misfortunes that occur. The side characters are fine. Honestly even the main characters are fine in isolation, I just feel like the whole concept of an age gap romance was fumbled here. The book probably would’ve been better if they were the same age just because that way the author would’ve had to find a more interesting conflict for them. The rest of it mostly worked though!

Season’s Change by Cait Nary

I really liked this book mostly because it reminded me of Crossfire, my favorite fanfiction, except if Miyuki was more traumatized and Sawamura was into yoga and therapy. I also liked Nary’s writing style, much less detailed than AO3 user Kittebasu’s but still very evocative. I think the author and I might have a mutual acquaintance? There was a familiar name in the acknowledgements section. Pretty good friends-to-lovers hockey romance novel, would recommend!

Us by Sara Soler
This was on hold from the QLL on Libby for at least a year and I don’t think it was worth it. Very “Trans 101”, interesting for the Barcelona-specific angle mostly, but I checked it out because I really liked Soler’s art style in the sample pages and I think she has a good graphic-memoir picture-voice. I would read more memoir from her. I like looking at her pictures. Worth maybe a month or two on Libby hold but not nearly a year of Libby hold lol.

Hot Girls with Balls by Benedict Nguyễn

Honestly was not expecting to like this one as much as I did. This is a satire about two Asian American trans girls playing men’s indoor volleyball and being internet influencers, while also being in a relationship with each other and dealing with so many levels of rivalry and jealousy. The no-quotation-marks style really works here, even if it was a little confusing sometimes, because it flattens the social media dialogue, internal dialogue, and spoken dialogue all into one thing, making them all seem equally important. The internet bits felt realistic and believable. It’s trying to do a lot and I think it mostly succeeds. I enjoyed it, actually! Even though there were somehow zero Haikyuu references. Minus half a point for not mentioning Haikyuu</3

The Vegetarian by Han Kang

Read this for friend group book club and am thus saving all my best takes for the besties sorry. Reminded me of Sorokin’s work a little, but slightly less gross.

Lucky Bounce by Cait Nary

Finished reading this and then went to Nary’s website to be surprised that this was published after Season’s Change, because it feels like a step down from her earlier book. I liked how colorfully and specifically she described Philly (a town I feel an affinity with because I live near-ish to it lol) but there’s not a whole lot of… plot. I kept waiting for something to happen, like character development for either protagonist, maybe their secret relationship getting discovered or the kid’s mom coming back or something, but nope. Straightforward relationship progression with maybe half a conversation’s worth of friction between sex scenes. It wasn’t an unpleasant reading experience by any means, but it was much less memorable than Season’s Change. The overall story structure reminded me more of fanfiction than anything else I’ve read recently, including the former Reylo BNF.


Tengachaya 1

Apr. 9th, 2026 08:55 pm
mindstalk: (Default)
[personal profile] mindstalk

I'm just falling behind on posts. Haven't finished the tail end of my Osaka visit, and now I have Taipei stuff queued. But to try to reset to where I am... US passports get you into much of the world with little hassle, for a 90 day (sometimes 30) visit. But what happens after that?

Schengen Area is pretty strict: only 90 out of the past 180 days. If you want to perpetual tourist there, you have to spend half your time outside: UK, maybe some of the Balkans, or Morocco. OTOH some Asian countries are said to not care; I've read about people basically hopping back and forth over the Thai border to reset their visas, and a comment claimed Taiwan doesn't care either. For Japan, OTOH, Immigration officials are said to get suspicious if you seem like you're working illegally via fast cycling. But apparently a 2nd visit with a 5 week outing doesn't trigger flags; my return was as unquestioned as my first arrival, and I'm back in Osaka. Read more... )

In Memoriam (Winn)

Apr. 8th, 2026 10:25 pm
cahn: (Default)
[personal profile] cahn
5/5. I am having SO many feelings about this book that I am not sure I can actually articulate them all. But also I am very aware that my feelings are entangled partially in, uh, currently being obsessed with a fanon ship that maps super easily on to this one, so you know, as usual, I am not to be trusted about my feelings and I'm very willing to believe that it might not hit quite right if one doesn't happen to be exactly in that situation? Anyway... it's about these two eighteen-year-old boys who start the book at boarding school together in 1914. Sidney Ellwood is half-Jewish, social, charismatic, demonstrative, loves and writes poetry. Henry Gaunt is half-German, intense, introverted, anxious, loves ancient Greek. (...I also have Feelings about characters who quote poetry. And, as it turns out, ancient Greek.) The two of them have strong and more-or-less repressed feelings for each other. (Gaunt's feelings are particularly repressed.)

But. It being 1914, it rapidly starts being about something else than boarding school.

I should probably also mention a huge, extremely gigantic content note for trench warfare and historical levels of wounds and death.

no spoilers, perhaps mild meta-spoilers, but at least I am more-or-less coherent )


Major spoilers, starts reasonably coherent but rapidly devolves into word-vomiting
I was so sure that one or both of Elly and Gaunt would die because it struck me as That Kind of heartbreaking book plus which I guess I've been socialized to understand that Teh Gays Always Die (and Carruthers and Sandys died so early on!! :( :( ), and I really REALLY wanted them to have a happy ending, I can't actually think of the last time I've wanted that so much for a couple, and when they got together I felt like, okay, at least they got one happy time before one of them died! All I wanted was for someone somewhere to get some happiness in the end.

The only thing that surprised me was that Gaunt died when the book was only half over. (BURGOYNE.) I was sure then that the next half would be Ellwood writing poetry about him, like Tennyson, or like Sassoon. I was SO surprised when he turned out to have survived! And then my reaction was that the book was now going to find new and exciting ways to break me (true, but not in the way I thought), and I spent most of the second half of the book worried Gaunt would die in some other way, and expressed that I was never going to forgive Winn if Gaunt died, or Ellwood did, without Ellwood finding out that Gaunt was still alive.

I absolutely absolutely adored Hayes and his friendship with Gaunt and his more prickly friendship with Ellwood and the contrast between him and the public schoolboys (who always get promoted over him, the poor guy), and him looking after Ellwood (both physically and e.g. warning him away from Watts) even though he thought Ellwood was looking down on him. I was also convinced he was going to die because I loved him so much (I actually said that I thought he would make it to the end of the war and then die, just to spite me. I actually said this!) And he didn't die but he ended up with BOTH LEGS (or at least 1 1/2) gone! I was like. Winn. Could you not have left him ONE leg?! COME ON. I would rather Gaunt or Ellwood had lost their legs. HAYES.

(Also Hayes panicking to Ellwood and Ellwood trying very very badly to reassure him (no wonder Hayes doesn't want to write him), then Ellwood having that exact panic after he's invalided out, omg)

I absolutely loved that Elly was into poetry and used poetry to basically articulate his emotions (I do the same kind of thing -- a lot of how I understand the world is made up of quotations from novels and poems and songs; my head has been full of Sassoon and Owen writing this post) and that moment when he declaimed Keats at Gaunt and Gaunt had to accept that he was in love with him, except that was when Gaunt knew he was going to die, auuuuugh. And also when Elly lost his poetry and then -- that little glimpse of how he might be getting it back at the end -- auuuuuugh

And also Gaunt and his ancient Greek and how sometimes he just quotes in Greek and I love it

And also I love that Winn doesn't just give us the one side, when Gaunt gets captured by the Germans it's a very stark reminder that although we've been POV English, the English aren't the only ones dying in this war and that even if it's easy for the English soldiers not to see the German soldiers as people and vice versa, they both are. And Gaunt being half-German of course knew this from the beginning, which adds another layer. This line, augh: Had it not been for his khaki uniform, no one should have known he was the enemy.

(And that shattering German POV, for just a minute.)

And also the prisoner-of-war scenes which are almost comic, we needed some of that at that point in the book, and ALSO Pritchard and Devi totally being like oh, yeah, no big deal at all about Gaunt being an "invert," and making ordinary jokes about it like they would about anything else and being totally accepting, instead of all the rejection and awfulness Gaunt's been fearing (and might have gotten from someone else), and that healing something in Gaunt so that he can face his love for Elly and actually tell him that, and be okay with it even if Ellwood can't love him back, I LOVE THIS and I know it's absolutely wish-fulfillment, but we already saw the part where Caruthers basically committed suicide so he didn't have to deal with the terrible consequences of being homosexual (augh!), so yeeeeeah I didn't need that to happen again, that was quite all right.

And then I read the bit where Maud says she's not going to marry Elly and I was cheering for her and also thinking that okay, even if everyone else's life is messed up (I still worried that Ellwood and Gaunt wouldn't find each other again, at this point) maybe Maud is the one character things will work out for, because it would be awful if she married Ellwood

AND THEN THEY DID MEET AGAIN
And they were both so damaged! Except that Gaunt, having been in the POW camp instead of fighting for a while, had recovered a bit mentally if not physically, and Ellwood was completely broken, augh. I had not thought that they would have to deal with shell shock instead of death, but of course they did

And Maud and Gaunt making up, and Maud being supportive and Gaunt apologizing (he really has been awful to her) and them speaking in Greek to each other <3

This bit: "Sometimes I think the War is harder on parents than on soldiers," said Pritchard. Gaunt could tell he was lying, but Gaunt would have lied too, if he had thought of it. And then, having learned from Pritchard, he says it to Mrs. Ellwood AUUUUUGH

(I said this before, but, now that I have the spoilers to back me up: all the little moments of kindness between characters that didn't have to happen, but did anyway, are I think what make me so hopelessly a fan of this book)

I think as we get close to the ending my thoughts just get more and more incoherent as Winn breaks my heart over and over again and I hadn't at all thought it would be because things were more-or-less going to be okay except that they can't exactly be okay but they can be as okay as possible:
Devi being ALIVE
CYRIL ROSEVEARE giving them the Brazil out!
"You don't have to give me your answer now, of course," said Roseveare. "I've already written to my uncle about you, just in case--"
He didn't finish. They both knew what he meant: in case I'm killed before I can help you.

Also: KEATS
Gaunt giving Hayes a JOB (and not a job as his freaking valet, either, not that I don't love Lord Peter but... like, let's let Hayes have a little class mobility here, that's the LEAST we can do)
"I'm not playing, either."

I mean, the rational part of my brain knows that the book is doing a few backflips to give them an ending where they can be alive and together and not be Alan Turing (although hi I found while writing this post that Robert Graves actually had the experience of almost dying of a lung wound and being reported dead, like Gaunt, though not because he was a pow, so it's not like she's completely making UP backflips, either) but the rest of my brain does not really care -- I think because we saw all the ways in which things could go wrong, it's a little like Carruthers and Sandys ( :(((((( ) and Aldworth and the Roseveare brothers and Lantham and -- and everyone else -- are the other stories that didn't work, that ended tragically, so in a sense my brain thinks of it like survivor bias; not everyone did die in WWI, or even most of everyone; someone had to survive; it might as well be them.
And also because they didn't survive unscathed. At all. Either physically or mentally. Which also seems -- reasonable, statistically speaking.
Also because no one should be Alan Turing (including especially Alan Turing) and I don't at all mind a universe where my characters ARE NOT (now, can I have a fix-it AU for Turing)

Physically speaking: Sassoon (who admittedly did not get his face shot off) lived until age 81 and Graves lived until age 90 after getting shot in the lung, so my headcanon is that Ellwood and Gaunt lived a very long time together :P

And then that last, awful twist of the knife. OH COME ON, the book was DONE and we were all going to live happily (or at least hopefully) EVER AFTER and now the third Roseveare brother is dead (as he dreamed back in the beginning, that was a shoe I had been bracing to drop for forever and when I finally let my guard down...). (While I was reading about WWII poets... I guess this happened to Wilfred Owen. Augh!)

And the LAST PARAGRAPH which didn't even register for me the first time -- I might not have actually read it properly then, because I was too busy trying not to throw the book across the room because Cyril was dead: Let us, like the soldiers of Waterloo, have our century of peace and prosperity, for we have paid for it in blood.

:(
Well, I'm thinking about that a lot this week.


Here, have the Sassoon poem 'They', because it's been rattling around in my head for days now )

And I suppose reading this book, now, is: well: I think this should be required reading for anyone who tells the old Lie: Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.
rionaleonhart: goes wrong: unparalleled actor robert grove looks handsomely at the camera. (unappreciated in my own time)
[personal profile] rionaleonhart
Part two of my responses to questions about The Goes Wrong Show from Tumblr!


[tumblr.com profile] solspeak: What elements of Robert's character/voice do you try to keep in mind when you're writing him? Why are you so weird about Robert? Are these two things connected? robert

The main things I bear in mind when writing fanfiction about Robert Grove:

- Robert is always acting. The world's a stage, and he takes that very literally. He's always looking for opportunities to give some sort of performance to some sort of audience, in the theatre or out of it.

- Robert is always correct. Whatever he says, no matter how ridiculous, he says it with perfect confidence. He'll also refuse to take the blame for anything, because that would mean admitting that his actions were wrong, and he is, as mentioned, always correct.

- Robert enjoys giving advice and assistance. His efforts to help will probably make things worse, but he's convinced he knows how to solve your issue, and good luck persuading him otherwise.

- Robert is a very genuine and serious person, but he's not an honest person, which is an interesting combination. He says what he means, he's not in the habit of playing pranks (I'm struggling to think of times he even makes jokes), and, when he lies, it tends to be either because he's panicking or because he believes the lie is necessary for the greater good. (Not everyone will agree with Robert's interpretation of 'the greater good'. For example, he believes that, for the sake of theatre, he should play the lead role at any cost.)

- Following on from that thought, Robert expects other people to be genuine in return; he's a trusting person, I think! He doesn't necessarily expect them to be competent, but he expects them to mean what they say.

- Robert's speech is always a little too grand. He doesn't speak like a person; he speaks like someone acting from a script. His choice of phrasing tends to be on the elaborate or old-fashioned side, and it's rare for him to hesitate or stumble over his words.

- Robert is selfish and has questionable morals, but it's rare for him to act maliciously. When he hurts people, it tends to be because the consequences of his words or actions simply did not occur to him, often because he was too focused on his goal to consider that he'd be hurting someone in the process. The people around him end up just as hurt, of course! But, for characterisation purposes, I think it's important to remember that Robert isn't a cackling villain; he's an inconsiderate friend.

- Although Robert is often rude in his thoughtless bluntness, he thinks of himself as polite, so he’ll follow surface-level rules of politeness like saying 'please’ and 'thank you’.

- Robert is a slightly lonely person, although he may not consciously acknowledge it, and enjoys the company of the drama society.

- Robert is extremely goddamn weird about Chris. Are you writing a Robert/Chris fic? No? Doesn't matter. He is still thinking about Chris two hundred percent of the time.

- Fundamentally, all of Robert's actions proceed logically from the belief that nothing is more important than acting. He's very weird, but he's weird in a way that makes internal sense.

As for why I'm so weird about Robert... well. In part, it's because he's such a fun character! He's dramatic and ridiculous and in-your-face in a way that I find an absolute blast to write, and I have a lot of fun exploring his insane dynamic with Chris.

In part, it's... I'll be honest: it's because Robert Grove, as played by Henry Lewis, is ridiculously hot. I've always had a weakness for a large, imposing man with a loud and aggressive persona, and he's extremely handsome on top of that. The first episode of The Goes Wrong Show I watched was 'The Lodge', which features one of Robert's most attractive roles, and my two main reactions were 'this is very silly and pretty fun' and 'this show contains the hottest man in the world???'

In conclusion, Robert Grove is hot as hell and twice as unbearable, and I find him deeply compelling.


[tumblr.com profile] the-red-thread-that-strangles: How is the practice that somehow was scheduled on Valentine's Day going?

It sounds to me like this is a question for the Cornley Drama Society themselves, so I've sent it their way!

Dennis: We've got a question from someone called... the-red-thread-that-strangles? Bit violent. Um, she wants to know how the Valentine's Day rehearsal is going.
Chris: Fine. It's going fine, obviously. We're professionals; I don't know why you'd expect anything else.
Robert: You're being needlessly defensive, Chris; all she asked was how it's going. Thank you for your interest, Ms Strangles. It's going very well.
Chris: We're professionals. It's going very professionally.
Dennis: Annie kissed everyone. And Max.
Chris: In a – in a professional fashion.
Dennis: I liked it. I thought it was nice. And I made everyone Valentine's Day cards.
Robert: Absolutely illegible.
Dennis: But you knew what they meant, right? Because you know what day it is.
Robert: I suppose that's undeniable.
Chris: (very reluctantly) The cards were a nice touch.

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