parlor question: oval office edition

[queenlua]

You are the president of the United States.

As president, you apparently can display whatever cool damn object you want in the Oval Office. For instance, Joe Biden asked for a 0.7 pound moon rock and I gotta say it looks fly as hell.

What object do you request to have in your Oval Office?

(i'm blithely assuming you can get basically anything from the Smithsonian Museums, the Library of Congress, any major US national/state archives, etc. i am assuming you probably cannot get e.g. the Mona Lisa loaned to you, but you could probably get various other artsy/historic objects loaned from abroad if they're less famous and/or less-obviously-a-major-centerpiece-of-tourism? idk, feel free to make your case for whatever outlandish idea you come up with; this is mostly an excuse to hear everyone's Platonic Ideal Of A Cool Desk Bauble)

Comments

[helicoprion]

There is or was at one point a preserved coelacanth at the National Museum of Natural History, I think on loan from a South African museum? That guy. Big ol' fish. Or if the South Africans want their fish back I'm sure I could pick a cool skeleton from elsewhere in the museum...

(But also Biden's choice of moon rock is cool as hell. Good taste, dude!!)

[queenlua]

ok preserved coelacanth is such a metal answer. hugely endorsed i love it...

[rabid_bookwyrm]

A really cool old book or piece of writing - maybe one of the foundational scientific texts. My college library had a copy of The Atom, Albert Crehore, 1920 and discovering that on the shelf was one of the best days. Or something foundational by a Black or Native person, although I'd want input. But when I am god-king of America, I'll have good advisors, I'm sure we can pick something with a lot of symbolic umph.

[queenlua]

discovering Very Old Important Books in random parts of the library was one of the most satisfying things about being on a university campus... miss those days!

[scytale]

I think I misunderstood the assignment because I immediately went "my cat, obviously" ;p

[queenlua]

D'AWWWWWWW

but ok i gotta hear more about the presidential cat in that case!!!! is your cat:

1) big or smol

2) FLUFFY or sleek

3) what color???

4) what vibes???

[scytale]

1) big
2) FLOOF
3) brown
4) very pissed off at the indignity of having to share her space with cabinet members! Also why can she not bite the papers!

Also, I guess I need cat trees there now!

(More practically...an ethically sourced spider or isopods? An aquarium? One of those herb garden hydroponic systems so that I can stress-munch lettuce? I feel like I'm in danger of becoming one of those classic decadent Chinese emperors who only pay attention to their birds.)

[queenlua]

omg i LOVE the mental image of the Presidential Cat Trees. 10/10 we gotta make this happen stat!

I feel like I'm in danger of becoming one of those classic decadent Chinese emperors who only pay attention to their birds

bahahaha but what a FUN thing to be in danger of :D;;;

[malada]

Early edition of the Federalist Papers along with the complete works of Thomas Paine.

And a paperback edition of both for me to read.

[queenlua]

yeah i found myself contemplating a lot of Very Early Documents Of Note. was wondering if maybe one of the quills used to write the constitution / federalist papers / declaration of independence was still around? or if there's an og copy of the Gettysburg Address...

[necrophilia]

I would want the jacket Wolverine wore in the first X-Men films. Not a replica, but the exact jacket. Hanging on the wall, the way Edgeworth hung up his first prosecutor coat.

[queenlua]

i love your very specific answer here bahahaha

god i love edgeworth's first prosecutor coat so much. now contemplating if i could get the presidential tailor to make me one

[necrophilia]

Dude, you would look so swish in that coat.

[queenlua]

commander in chief? more like COSPLAYER in chief

[raisedbymoogles]

let's be real, there'd be so much shit on President Moogle's desk that it'd be unusable, let alone have a place to display tchotchkes.

that said... those little magnetic balls, for fidgeting purposes. And a jar that said 'Ashes of Problem Congresspeople.' (It would hold candy.)

[queenlua]

Ashes of Problem Congresspeople

IRL LOL, love this aesthetic choice in the oval office specifically haha

[airlock384]

I'm a frugal girl, but I'd settle for the head of the previous president on a pike

[queenlua]

gotta think of the taxpayers. pikes are pretty cheap! don't wanna stick em with a huge bill for your intimidating desk artifact!

[knave_of_swords]

I can't think of anything cooler than a moon rock, to be honest.

[queenlua]

i'm curious if biden's team had a meeting where they discussed this exact question and came to the same conclusion lol. "ok yes moon rock wins, meeting's done, let's break early for lunch"

[silveredeye]

I don't think I could get any more metal than the moon rock. Mayybe a rock from a more distant celestial body, but I don't think we as humanity have enough of those to just loan one out as an art object.

[queenlua]

dang i'd love to have a jar of venus!gas on my desk... wistful sigh...

[lassarina]

I can't think of a specific object, but I think I'd want something that required many, many people to work together to achieve, as a reminder of how to get things done.